i don't know if this is because of the pregnancy, or depression, or what... i've been soo tired lately. even when i'm getting a "full" night of sleep, i still have to take a nap during the day. and when i say "full night of sleep" i mean that i only had to get up once or twice to pee lol. and even with all this sleep at night and naps during the day, i'm feeling no energy to do anything. i have a constant headache and i feel so lazy i just want to stay in bed all day and night.
had a little scare yesterday, wasn't feeling the baby move at all during times that she's usually super active, so i went to the doctor. her heartbeat sounds good and strong :-) so no worries there. guess she was just being lazy. although i am pretty upset, because the doctor decided to change my due date again. according to my last period, i'm due 11/09. i don't care what they say, i know i'm further along than they think. i just know. so i'm sticking with my due date in october. FTW! lol.
and today is the big day on whether we pay the rent or our landlords start the eviction process. i'm pretty sure bill is not going to pay, so we're going to be out on our asses. and even if he does pay, i'm sure the landlords want us out by 09/11 anyways, the day our lease is up. because if they had to go as far as put an eviction notice to try and scare us into paying, why would they let us stay any longer? i don't know what we're going to do. obviously i can go to my mom's house, but i'm not looking forward to sleeping in the living room with zachary for any extended period of time. either way, we're staying here as long as we can, i want zachary to have his normal routine for as long as possible. it's really not fair to the kid that we took away his pacifier, his mommy is too tired to do much of anything, his daddy is never home, and he's going to lose his own room and half his toys, and he's going to have a baby sister in a couple months. it's so much to adjust to and deal with, i'm worried.
on a positive note, he used the potty last night! he randomly asked me to take his diaper off, so he could sit on the potty like a big boy. so he sat down and grunted and pushed a little bit (i could see his little turtle twitching lol) and he peed! just a little sprinkle, but he did it! i was so excited and proud i started dancing around and yelling! which of course got him all excited too... progress! although i don't know how long that's going to last, or if he'll even do it again... but still. it's a step in the right direction!
annnnd today is my momma's birthday! yay! i want to surprise her tonight with some ice cream cake. mmm cake...
nap time.
Keep in mind that you are currently the hanger in which organs are being formed, I'm sure that takes a lot of energy on top of stressing over a tough life. And oorah for punching medical science in the face and making up your own due date! Lol. Too awesome.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget that kids are awfully resilient. We all went through a bunch of changes when we were little. Lol, it's like when we bonk ourselves on the head and just shake it off and keep running around like crazy. Plus, as harsh as it kind of sounds, Zachary doesn't know anything else. You know what more you could give him, but he's a great and happy kid with what he has now. His biggest concern is peeing in a toilet right now.
Hope you find a solution soon. <3