i told myself this one would be different! that i would keep up with it and write every day about anything and everything... so much for that. oh well, i've had a lot going on. okay, not a lot, the same amount of crap i deal with every day. same diff.
i've been stressing. today i think i officially hit third trimester! it's a little confusing cause some books and websites say 27 weeks, some say 28 weeks. i'm just going with the earlier date cause i'm anxious as helllll!!! i've been so uncomfortable all day today, with back pains and stomach aches! ugh. three months and counting...
matt was kind of m.i.a. last night. he says he didn't stay out all night, that he came home and slept on the couch. i just wish i could believe him! i remember waking up a few times last night, after going to bed at 2 am, and i didn't see him any time. and supposedly he couldn't sleep so he went to work at like 5:30 am?! i smell bullshit... i just don't know. i wish i could trust him, but the worst part is i don't have any proof of anything so i guess i just have to take him at his word? i have a bad feeling that he's doing coke again (or still?) who gets up for work at 6 am one day, gets drunk at hooters that night, comes home and doesn't sleep, and then spends another 10 hours at work the next day? all without sleep? i don't think so.
zachary was pretty cute today. he started this new thing where he puts his pointer finger to his cheek and says "hmmm..." and then starts blabbing about whatever it is he's looking at. i think it's adorable and funny as hell. don't know where he got it from though. just like his attitude. wtf happened to my sweet, smiling baby? now its all about "uh-uh" and "i don't wanna". i'm pretty much at a loss for words on that subject. can i beat the bad attitude out of him? or is that considered child abuse? whatever. i smack my kid when he deserves it. and then i hug him after. lol. don't ask about my discipline. i don't even know what to do with him anymore.
on a side note... yesterday i took zachary to the cb smith water park for the first time! family outing type thing... it was actually fun. he was a little scared of the water and all the people. but once he realized he could run around to his little heart's content he didn't want to leave! until i forced him to go under the water cannons and slides. (lol mean mommy) i just wanted him to try it!!! all in all, a good day. and then we went to dinner for titi evelyn's birthday! zachary did not have fun there... but we made the best of it. sometimes dinner with family just takes too long, a 2-1/2 year old will only sit still long enough to eat, then it's time to go. we're still trying to train zachary... but he's impatient.
and that's it. i feel like i'm leaving something out... but i can't remember what, so i'll leave it at that. if anything, it'll give me an excuse to write later. or tomorrow. or next week. you know...
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